Old Thoughts
by Tortallan Shadow
Summary: Squire Keladry of Mindelan is greeted by a friendly Neal after being bored out of her mind in the castle alone during the summer months. Will her treacherous thoughts ruin their friendship or improve it? Rated for some stuff maybe to come.
1. Chapter 1: Feelings

Ok, this is my first fanfic, so bear with me. Pleeeaaasssseeeee give me some feed back, or else I'll assume this story sucks and write another.

Disclaimer: all these characters belong to Tamora pierce, I do not own them, (sadly)

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Kel looked out the foggy window into the bleak grey outside. 'Oh when will this rain cease!' thought Kel bitterly. It had been raining in Tortall for four days straight now, and everyone was getting a little antsy. Kel decided that she had to make use of herself. There were few people in the castle this time of the year. Most of her friends were either home with their families or off with their knights. Kel sighed and retrieved her glave from the corner of her room. Walking out the door she headed down the empty stone corridor and found her way to one of the indoor combat courts. Everything was empty. Kel stood in the middle of the room for a minute, simply drinking in the quiet and peace of it all. Then she began to perform a pattern dance with her weapon. Her pattern dances, however beautiful were completely fatal. It consisted of deadly swing after hack in a combination of beautiful swiftness. The glave which was her prime weapon in combat resembled a staff, with a sharp, curved metal piece on the end. She didn't realize that she had an observer until she had finished her pattern dance and the observer started clapping.

"That was amazing Kel. I swear, every time I watch you use that thing you do something more deadly."

Kel swirled around. "Neal!" cried Kel with excitement. She ran over to her best friend and he engulfed her in a hug.

"What's brought you here? I thought the lioness was patrolling up in Scanra for the summer?" asked Kel, inquisitively.

"Oh, well, actually that's an interesting story. Now you'd think that being a knight with her experience, she'd know better that to pick fights with giants," Neal said dryly. "She wouldn't have come back if the king hadn't ordered her to."

"Well either way, I'm glad to have you back at the castle. It's so dull around here with no one to talk to. I thought I would just burst if I didn't find something to do that was useful," Kel grumbled. At this Neal laughed. He had always known her to be the productive one. He slung an arm around her shoulder and led her into the hallway. They walked down the hallway and into Kel's room. She put her glaive away and sat on her bed.

"So what's new with you?" asked Kel. "The lioness still hounding you?" she grinned. She had always thought that the lioness would be her first choice to be her knight master, but after hearing of how Neal talked of her temper and quick tongue, she thanked Mithros for her own knight master, Lord Raoul.

Neal sighed dramatically "Of course, with her healing lectures every four minutes and her love for fighting all things moving." Kel knew Neal well, and also knew that the lioness was good for him. They talked for what seemed like hours until they realized that they were hungry. They walked down the hallway to the mess hall to eat some good palace food.

Upon entering the mess hall they spotted their old table and trotted towards it. Before they had even sat they heard a familiar voice. Owen of Jesslaw who was a year younger than Neal and Kel came over with his usual jolly expression. Kel, who hadn't eaten in the mess hall in her time here, hadn't seen her young friend all summer.

"Kel, Neal! When did you get here? Oh I've missed all you guys so much!" shouted Owen as they all found seats at their table. They all ate their meals in between talk of where they had been, and what they had done. Eventually the subject came up of girls. Kel always ignored them when the boys talked of other ladies, but now she decided to pay attention.

"So Neal who's your latest fancy?" asked Owen mockingly. Neal was infamous for having very dramatic crushes on women he wouldn't most likely ever have. Neal blushed a deep crimson. Could Kel have seen correct, the great Neal blushing over a girl, she must be special.

"Owen, you're just jealous, because you couldn't get a girl with a love potion and all the help of the goddess herself." joked Kel.

"Oh yeah? Well it so happens that I do have a girl!" shouted Owen with triumph. Kel and Neal gawked at him.

"Who?" asked Neal, accusingly

"Her name's Cynthia, and I met her visiting my family this summer. And if I may say so myself she's a gem, not more so than our Kel here though," added Owen ceremoniously.

"What about you Kel? Have you got a beau? You never talk about your personal life," inquired Neal. Now it was Kels turn to blush.

"Me? The uncouth warrior maiden? No, nobody is interested, and if they are, they haven't shown any inclination," stated Kel matter-of-factly. Owen protested vividly saying that she was as good as any other noble girl, if not better. She smiled at his notion.

"That's not true," said Neal "Cleon tells you how beautiful you are every time he sees you."

"Oh you know he's just jesting. He wouldn't seriously be interested in me. He is more of the older woman type." Kel replied. "I'm just destined to become an old maid, having adventures as a lone knight." At this she stood up from the table and brought her food tray to the serving staff. She walked out the hall and towards her room. Is that how she really wanted to die? as an old maid? 'No, you know what you want, you want Neal, you know you do,' said a little voice in her head. Afraid of that thought she shoved it into the farthest corner of her mind, and thought louder still. 'No, I don't like him any more...do I?' Suddenly confused, she decided to hum a song to keep those treasonous thoughts out of her head.


	2. Chapter 2: Woods

Keladry woke up after a long night of tossing and turning. She had been thinking all night of Neal and her newly awakened thoughts of him. She had thought she liked him once before, when they were both pages, but it was not like this. Now she tossed and turned and thought of what it would be like to kiss his lips at night. In the morning, she felt slightly embarassed at these thoughts of her best friend. She bathed and dressed humming a yamani song she had learned on the Islands when she got a knock on her door. She quickly brushed through her hair. It had used to be short, but with all the things she was doing now a days, she just didn't have the time to cut it. Putting a ribbon in her hair, who said she couldn't look pretty if she wanted to, she answered her door. It was Neal. He was dressed in riding boots, breeches and a red shirt, which was untucked and showed part of his chest. In his hand he held a crumpled tunic.

"Kel, I wanted to know if you wanted to go riding today, since you are so bored all the time. I was also wondering if you could mend this?" he asked pleadingly. She held up the tunic in front of her to inspect the damage. There was a tear down the left side.

"Neal, you know I'm not Lalasa. Why don't we just go and pick out another, hmmm?" asked Kel.

"Oh, fine. It's just, that's my favorite tunic!" whined Neal. Kel giggled. He sounded like a girl. They walked down the hall and into Neals room. Heading over to his dressing room, she searched through his little number of clothes. Selecting a nice dark blue tunic, she told him to put it on. She sat on his bed and waited for him to change. When he came out, he looked fine in the dark blue, it looked good with his hair. Oh, how his shoulders filled out that shirt, he looked so fine, she almost laughed with joy. No! she told herself. You have to stop thinking these thoughts! Blushing, she looked down.

"What? No good?" asked Neal "Is there something wrong with it, because if there is, you picked it out, and I place full blame on you."

"Oh no!" said Kel quickly, a little too quickly. "It's... it's fine. Now, are we going to sit here all day, or are we going riding? I know Peachblossom would like to get a good bite at you since she'd been deprived for so long." Neal grimaced, remembering all the times Peachblossom had tried to bite at him before. Kel grinned.

* * *

They got thier horses out from the stables and saddled up. Kel loved riding Peachblossom. Her horse could be ridden without spur or crop thanks to Daine the wild mage. Neal, who had already saddled up his horse was waiting for Kel in the ring. She trotted up to him and asked, "Ready to go?"

"If you are?" replied Neal with a grin. With a kick to his horse, he screamed, "Race you!" Behind him. Kel whispered "charge" into Peachblossom's ear. The horse started out at a full gallop. Although he had a head start, no horse could outrun Peachblossom. She soon caught up with Neal and passed him. She slowed Peachblossom to a trot as Neal was still gallopping behind woods were very pretty in the late summer. The leaves were just turning for thier autumn colors. She sat there and closed her eyes, reveling in the splendor of it. All of a sudden, she was being pushed out of her sadle and on the ground. She looked up at the grinning Neal, who was still horsed.

"That'll teach you!" said Neal triumphantly. Kel frowned at him.

"That was not a bit chivalrous, Sir Nealan. I demand you help me up." He lowered a hand to help her off her butt. Kel gripped and pulled hard until Neal was on the ground also. She laughed at him as he shot her a mock glare, but gave up and laughed along with her. They sat there for a moment, their horses grazing not far off.

"It's so beautiful," commented Kel. Neal nodded. She could see that he also was reveling in the crisp almost autmn air.

"It's not true you know," said Neal after a moment.

"Whats not true?" inquired Kel. She looked at him, but he just continued to look ahead at the beautiful scene.

"What you said before." He gazed at her dreamy hazel eyes. She thought she was going to melt. She was sure he could hear her heart pounding, as it was so loud in her own ears. Neal leaned in and whispered into her ear.

"I think you're beautiful," he said. He kissed her trembling lips. It seemed that tiem almost slowed as Neal stared at her and she stared back. He kissed her kissed him back, all of the thoughts she had been having coming out in that one kiss. Kel could feel his tounge on her lips and she parted her mouth a little. He pulled back, flustered.

"I...Kel...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. I... I'm sorry." He stood up abruptly and mounted his horse and sped off at a full gallop. Kel, insanely confused and a little hurt, stood up and mounted her own rode half heartedly towards the still couldn't understand what had happened back in the woods. Wiping back tears, she thought, 'No. Crying and feeling sorry for your self won't get you anywhere.' She rode back to the castle at a run. It was getting dark, and she just wanted to go to her room, eat then sleep and ponder what had just happened.


	3. Chapter 3:After Dinner talk

Ok, thanks seawitch for reviewing. I really think this story is coming along, and if you disagree you should leave a post about it!

Ok here's a summary of chapter two...

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"What you said before." He gazed at her dreamy hazel eyes. She thought she was going to melt. She was sure he could hear her heart pounding, as it was so loud in her own ears. Neal leaned in and whispered into her ear.

"I think you're beautiful," he said. He kissed her trembling lips and was elated. She kissed him back for a more passionate kiss. She could feel his tongue on her lips and she parted her mouth a little. He pulled back, flustered.

"I...Kel...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. I... I'm sorry." He stood up abruptly and mounted his horse and sped off at a full gallop. Kel, insanely confused and a little hurt, stood up and mounted her own Peachblossom. She still couldn't understand what had happened back in the woods. Wiping back tears, she thought, 'no. Crying and feeling sorry for your self won't get you anywhere.' She rode back to the castle at a run. It was getting dark, and she just wanted to go to her room and eat, then sleep and ponder what had just happened.

* * *

Keladry lay in her bed, utterly confused and down trodden at what had happened earlier that day. She had to get out of this rut. She was Kel! Kel the yamani lump who never _ever_ showed emotion. Now look at her, blubbering like a baby and lying around in her bed. She decided to stop feeling sorry for herself and to do something...useful. She sat up in bed and wiped her eyes, then went to wash her face. It was just about time for dinner in the mess hall, so she decided to go and eat with Owen. She put on one of her more common dresses, as she often did when she went to dinner, and headed toward the mess. She got there just in time, as Lord Wyldon had not entered the hall yet. She spotted Owen and went to sit next to him. Also sitting with him was Neal. She hadn't expected the sudden flood of emotions that came upon her when she saw his face. She gathered herself and put on her best yamani mask-like face she could muster. She slid into the seat next to Owen, across from Neal.

"Hello Owen, Neal," said Kel coolly. Owen smiled and Neal just stared at the table nervously. Apparently he hadn't forgotten the woods either, Kel thought dryly.

"What's the matter Kel? You've got your yamani face on..." Owen said reproachfully. Kel thought of something quick.

"I'm just tired, Owen, that's all," lied Kel. Kel got a tray of food from the servers and sat back down stirring quietly. Lord Wyldon walked in to say the prayer. As usual he was very bleak and long winded. When he was finished all the listeners replied the usual "So mote it be."  
Kel ate her meal silently as Owen chatted at Neal and to his cousins, who were fellow pages. When she was finished, she stood up, gave her tray to the servers and started to walk out of the hall. As she strode past Owen she said goodbye to Owen and walked out of the hall. When she was gone, Owen asked Neal, "Is everything ok with you two?"

"Why?" asked Neal, nervously.

"Because she didn't tell you to eat your vegetables..." replied Owen, perplexed. Neal frowned and left the hall after Kel.

Kel walked briskly down the hall. She was so angry at him. Why? Why did he do that? It was obviously just his boyish hormones. If he actually liked her- no, he wouldn't have been so cruel if he did actually like her. She was pondering this when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She spun around, and there was Neal.

"Kel, we've got to-" Kel cut him off.

"We've got to what Neal? I'm so mad at you, I'm not sure if I could even form sentences to express that." Kel said, hotly.

"Kel, I know, I shouldn't have done that.. but, I... I'm just sorry," Neal replied apologetically.

"Sorry? You're sorry!" shouted Kel, losing all composure. "Neal I don't believe you! I wasn't sure if you were sane at the moment! Did you think it was funny, toying with my emotions like that? I certainly did not."

"I.. I.." stammered Neal. "I know...I know I shouldn't have kissed you but..."

"Neal, you just left me there," replied Kel quietly. "You gave me hopes, then you just dashed them, and left..." She was on the verge of tears now.

"Kel, I left because I was afraid. Afraid of what I had just done...I ruined our friendship! I knew I was risking it, but I thought you would at least like me a little but..."

"Wait, you thought I didn't like you? That's why you left?" asked Kel, confused.

"Kel, I thought you would hate me and I couldn't live wi-"

"Neal. I love you..." she said softly. "Why do you think I was so confused, you gave me the hope that you liked me too, and then just pushed them aside."

"You...you love me?" said Neal, also confused. Kel sighed and then nodded.

"I've always loved you. You just...you never seemed interested. You always had some other, older, more thin and fragile beauty you fawned over. I always kept it secret because I knew, I knew you wouldn't ...couldn't ever love me."

"Oh, Kel..." Neal swept her up in his arms and kissed her with feeling. She melted in his grip, and would have fallen over if his arms weren't around her. He put her back against the wall and kissed her fiercely. Kel pulled away.

"No, Neal, not here. Someone will see!" Kel whispered.

"I don't care," said Neal. "Let them." He wanted to kiss her again, but she held up a hand.

"Neal, it's already hard enough being called a whore and a slut. But if they get proof it will be a living hell..." Kel replied, pleading. Neal nodded and gave her a hug. He walked her to her room and bid her good night. She went to bed that night with a rising feeling of happiness that made her want to sigh every five seconds. Was this what they call love?


	4. Chapter 4: A Trip to the City

"Oh, Kel..." Neal swept her up in his arms and kissed her with feeling. She melted in his grip, and would have fallen over if his arms weren't around her. He put her back against the wall and kissed her fiercely. Kel pulled away.

"No, Neal, not here. Someone will see!" Kel whispered.

"I don't care," said Neal. "Let them." He wanted to kiss her again, but she held up a hand.

"Neal, it's already hard enough being called a whore and a slut. But if they get proof it will be a living hell..." Kel replied, pleading. Neal nodded and gave her a passionate hug, then walked her to her room and bid her good night. She went to bed that night with a rising feeling of happiness that made her want to sigh every five seconds. Was this what they call love?

Kel awoke the next morning. What had happened last night, she thought to herself. Then she remembered. Neal, his kiss and the fact that he didn't hate her. He liked her, a lot. She smiled to herself as she dressed. Everything was great, everything was dandy everything was...she stopped smiling. Everything was all too good to be true. What if it was a dream? She asked herself, forlorn. What if, it never happened, and he still doesn't like me? She sighed and calculated a plan in her mind. She would act as if none of it had happened. Yes, and if he brings up the subject, then it happened and if not, well, if not she would keep all this to herself. She finished putting on her tunic and grabbed her glaive. She walked down the hall to one of the indoor practice courts and realized, it wasn't raining again today. In fact, it was a beautiful day. She decided that she could use the air, and quickly turned a corner and headed outside. She chose a spot near a tree. It was in the place where Lord Wyldon had set up the jousting dummies, and she remembered when she first had to have a go at those things, only with a weighted lance. She sighed and shook her head. Not one of the better memories I'll have of this place, she thought. Or will it be? In Jorens giving her the leaded lance, she had become twice as good in the saddle. Funny, she thought, how some things work out. She started out with a slow, easy pattern dance to warm up her muscles, then moved on to the more complicated ones. Her glaive was a blur in the air as she sped up in her routines. Kick, slice, jab. She was panting heavily at this time, and decided to call it a quits and go to her room for a pre-breakfast bath.

Kel clamored up to the castle just as the sun was rising. It's so beautiful, she thought, meekly. A lot like Neal...she sighed. She had to stop thinking about him. What ifs raced through her mind. She didn't like these new feelings. They scared her. There was too much chance involved in them. When Kel reached her room, she put her glaive in the corner and flopped on her bed. She got up and peeked out into the hallway.

"Excuse me," she asked a passing servant. "Could you bring me some water for a bath?"

"Certainly, malady." The serving girl bobbed a curtsy and scurried off. Kel went back into her room and resumed her position on her bed. Within a few moments, there was a tub full of warm water waiting for her. She peeled off her tunic and hose and slid in to the inviting water. She lay there, knees up, reveling in the water. She plunged beneath the surface, holding her nose. She loved to do this. It was a place she could go, and not have to hear anything. A quiet-KNOCK. Well it used to be quiet, she thought. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. She cursed under her breath.

"One minute!" she called out in irritation. She quickly threw on an oversized shirt and a pair of clean breeches and opened the door. It was Neal.

Neal stared at the sight before him. There was Kel in all her splendor. She was wearing an oversized shirt, that wasn't laced all the way and breeches that hugged her lovely curves. Her shirt wasn't laced all the way, allowing it to go far below the usual neckline of Kels' shirts. He could also see the slight curve of her - no, that's not very nice! Bad, bad Neal! You don't even know if any of that happened, if not, she's Kel, just Kel. Neal realized he was staring at her and quickly looked up.

"Is this a bad time?" he asked.

"Depends what you could call bad Neal. I was just enjoying a bath, and you seemed to have interrupted it." Kel leaned against the door frame.

"Well, I was just coming to see if you wanted to go and get breakfast in Corus, instead of just sitting in the mess hall." He studied her face as she thought of this possibility.

Kel thought about the request for a moment and then decided, where could the harm be in that?

"Of course. But I'll have to get permission from Raoul before I can go." A thought struck her. "How are you going to let the Lioness give you a day to go to Corus?"

Neal smiled at her. "I have my own ways of convincing the lioness." She didn't exactly like the grin that had spread over his face, but all she could do was hope he didn't get into too much trouble. He raced off as Kel shut the door. She looked at her appearance in her mirror. If she was going into the city, she would need to change into something else. Kel looked through her wardrobe and saw what she would wear. It was a velvet grass green dress, made for weather just like this. She had gotten it from her mother over the summer and rejoiced at the chance to wear it. She slipped off the breeches and shirt and slid into the green dress. She slipped on a pair of soft soled shoes under the dress and headed out the door to sir Raoul's rooms. She knocked on the door and was answered by a very weary looking knight.

"Oh, hello Kel, I was expecting someone else." He opened the door and admitted her into his very messy room.

"Oh, Sir Raoul!" Kel, said, in a forlorn tone. "I knew I should have come and checked on you!"

"Kel, I am a grown man, and I can look after myself!" he said indignantly. She sighed and shook her head.

"Sir Raoul, I was just wondering if I could, maybe," said Kel. "Have the day off?"

Raoul looked at her. "I don't see why not, I won't really need you right now anyway. Doing anything special?" said the knight, with a questionable look.

"Oh, not really." Kel thought, not to you anyway. "I'm just going to Corus with Neal"

"Oh," said Raoul, thinking that he may need to ponder this later said" ok then, well, don't get in to trouble"

Kel smiled " like I ever do." she walked out the door and towards the stables. She was just going to get peach blossoms tack when she saw Neal, who had already prepared his and her horse.

"How'd you do it!" asked Kel surprised. Peach blossom wouldn't let Neal within a foot of him without taking a good chomp at his arm.

"Actually I didn't, Stefan did..." said Neal. Stefan was the chief hostler and also a wild mage. She sighed and walked towards Neal, taking Peachblossoms reigns.

"Wow Kel, you look...amazing." She blushed and mounted. She realized she was going to have to ride side saddle, which she hated. She decided, the hell with it, and swung the other leg over. It was a little uncomfortable, but much easier. She and Neal started down the road and on to the city of Corus.

"We should be there in bout 15 minutes." Said Neal. "By the way that color suits you."

Kel blushed again. She was going insane. Did he like her? Did he not? Right now she was leaning towards like, but, she didn't want to be let down. She wanted him to do something, anything! She needed a sign.

"Thank you," She said, remembering her manners. They rode silently for what seemed like hours. Until Neal broke the silence.

"Kel, I ..." he was cut off. Kel gasped, before them lay a fast area of noise, colors and smells. They had arrived in Corus.


	5. Chapter 5: Gypsies and a Bit of Scandal

Ok guys and loyal fans. this is the third time I've revised this story! I hope it will get better later because of this...

* * *

_Last chapter:_

Kel blushed again. She was going insane. Did he like her? Did he not? Right now she was leaning towards like, but, she didn't want to be let down. She wanted him to do something, anything! She needed a sign.

"Thank you," She said, remembering her manners. They rode silently for what seemed like hours. until Neal broke the silence.

"Kel, I ..." he was cut off. Kel gasped, before them lay a vast area of noise, colors and smells. They had arrived in Corus.

* * *

It was magnificent. The city shone in all its splendor, the very picture of life. Kel and Neal rode through the threshold and into the thick of the mayhem. There was a number of stalls, selling wares of all kinds to people of all walks of life. Here was a girl buying a doll, there, a lady, buying what seemed to be her first meal in days. It was magnificent. Kel almost lost herself, then replaced her yamani mask and turned to gape at Neal. 

"Haven't you been here before?" he asked. She shook her head. Sir Raoul and she were always off in other parts of Tortall or in other countries. She had never actually ventured off into her own city. Now, she was sad she hadn't come sooner.

"Stick close, and don't get lost! We came here to eat, and that is what I intend to do." Neal led her down the road a little further, and then down a darker more secluded alleyway. They came out on a less crowded street, but the sounds of the main marketplace didn't sound far off. They stopped in front of a sign that read "The Roaming Player". It looked respectable enough. There was a faint light coming from the window that looked almost inviting. They dismounted and gave their horses to a hostler nearby. He took the reigns and led them to some local stables. They gave him a few coins and entered the tavern. It indeed was a really nice place. Kel was pleased at this. She didn't have any tolerance for people who sat around drunk all day, and some of the taverns that they passed seemed to possess those exact people. Behind the bar was a pleasant looking plump woman in her mid thirties. Her rosy cheeks matched well with her fair brown hair, and she reminded Kel of a distant aunt she would be very fond of. They walked up to the bar and the lady came toward them

"Oh! Squire Nealan! How good it is to see you again." cried the lady, dramatically. Obviously, Neal had been here before. Kel grinned. Never had she seen her cynical friend greeted in such a manner.

"Madam D'bovie, pleased to see you again." Neal replied warmly. He smiled, then remembered Kel. "oh, Madam D'bovie, this is my good friend, Keladry of Mindelan. Kel, this, is the world renowned madam Claire D'bovie!" He waved a hand at the delightful lady in front of her. Kel just smiled and nodded her head in acknowledgment.

"What will you and your lady friend be having today, master Nealan? Maybe some of my cider?" She smiled at Neal, and bustled off to grab some over-sized cups from a shelf behind the bar. Neal steered her off to a table near the corner of the room. It didn't seem to be busy at all in this small tavern. The only other people there were two men conversing in front of the fire, and another man at the bar, staring into his mug.

"So, what do you think of the player?" asked Neal, in a cocky tone. He grinned at her.

"Come here often do you?" asked Kel with a raised eyebrow. Neal laughed and lounged in his chair.

"You could say that" he said. "Although, you go to a lot of…different, places with lady Allana as you knight master." He sighed and sat up straight in his chair. "Are you hungry?"

"Actually, yes, I haven't eaten breakfast, and it's nearing lunch."

"Say no more," he said." I suggest the beef stew. Madam D'bovie makes excellent stew. I hope you like it here." Neal gave her a hopeful look. She smiled. He was so cute when he did that. 'Cute? Did she just think the word cute?' She gave an inward sigh. 'I'm a girl after all,' she thought.

"Yes, in fact I do." Neal gave away a small look of relief, then grinned. "And I'll take you up on that offer of stew." She folded her hands in her lap and gave a sigh. She was so happy today. Thank Mithros Neal had showed up, or she still may be at the palace, bored out of her mind. Madam D'Bovie came to their table with two mugs of delicious looking cider. Kel grasped hers and took a sip. It was very good! She set her glass down and stared into it. This was very nice, with her and Neal here as friends. But she still had the nagging question in the back of her mind, 'does he like me?' She sighed and traced the edge of the mug with a finger.

"Madam D'bovie, can we have two bowls of your stew, and some bread?" asked Neal. The lady scurried away to fulfill the request and returned with two bowls of steaming stew. Kel picked up a spoon and lowered it into the thick, creamy stew. She took a mouthful. Like the cider, this too was delicious. The two friends ate their stew in silence. Kel gave a satisfied sigh and Neal turned to his drink, obviously thinking of other things. She almost couldn't stand it anymore.

"Neal, I would actually like to take a walk around the market, if there's time."

"Hmmm?" said Neal, coming out of a daze. "Oh, yes, of course. We have all day. Anywhere in particular?" he asked.

"Well, I'd actually like to start shopping for mid-winter. I never have any other time." Neal smiled. "I know just the place. But I still think that it's a little early to start midwinter shopping…but, oh well." He mock sighed at his friend. She hit him in the arm lightly. They stood up after finishing their stew and cider, placed a few coins on the bar to pay for their meal. They exited the player, and headed down a side alley. They collected their horses from the stables and mounted up.

"Follow me, and stick close," said Neal. Kel nodded. Neal led her not through the side street in which they came, but followed the road they were on. They rode through the city, through many different streets and past many different people. Kel saw young, old, poor, wealthy and everyone else in between. She also spotted a few people that looked to be of quite a questionable intention as they eyed her and Neal. They seemed to ride for a long while, until they reached a place that didn't look like it was in the city at all. The buildings had been getting farther and farther apart, until now, they seemed to have left them behind. Ahead of them, there was a caravan circled in a clearing. They rode up, dismounted and tied their horses to a tree. They walked forward into the circle. There were about six or seven covered wagons each selling different wares. Then Kel realized, these were gypsies. She looked around fascinated at the olive skinned people before her. Neal turned to Kel.

"This is the gypsy band of Zelaka. They come to the city every so often, selling the most curious, and fascinating items. Is this what you had in mind?" he asked. Kel gaped, still astounded.

"Not exactly. This is twice as good." she smiled at her friend. She walked up to one of the covered wagons to examine the wares in the stall. The gypsy lady behind the counter looked at Kel with interest in her eyes. She raised an eyebrow at Kel, who was still gaping at the treasures before her.

"Well, well. I haven't seen you around here before," remarked the gypsy, with dancing eyes. Her accent was one that Kel had never heard before. Remembering herself, Kel instantly hid her features behind her yamani mask. At this, the gypsy woman smiled. "My name is Ritza, and may I ask of your name?" she questioned. Kel studied her face. She looked to be in her late twenties, but had the eyes of someone who had seen her fair share of trouble. She also had a gleam of mischief in her eye that was unmistakable. Kel inwardly smiled.

"I am Keladry of Mindelan," said Kel, in all politeness. "I'm actually here shopping with my friend Nealan, Neal." Kel looked around. Where had Neal gone? 'He'll be fine,' Kel thought. 'How much trouble can he get into?' She sighed. Ritza stepped down from her wagon and came to stand in front of Kel. Kel was almost as tall as the woman in front of her.

"Gran, come here and see who found our little caravan." shouted Ritza, across the caravan. Out of another cart came an elderly woman who looked like she could beat you if you called her so. She sidled up to Kel and stood in front of her. She looked Kel up and down, and gave a satisfied nod. Ritza smiled very big. Kel wondered why the lady scrutinized her so. She looked at Ritza, giving a questioning look.

"Madam Zurna, she has the gift. It allows her to see who is friend and who is enemy. She can also see what your intentions are. She is the eldest of us, and we trust her judgment. You should have no problems with anyone here now. You are friend." She smiled and mock bowed, deeply. Kel smiled. She like these people. Neal walked up behind her.

"Are you finding anything Kel?" asked Neal. He looked at the little group she had drawn and raised a questioning eyebrow. He stood next to her, and Madam Zurna turned her magical gaze towards Neal. He stared back just as intently. Up and down she scrutinized. She finally rested her gaze on his eyes. She slowly nodded.

"You had better be careful about this one," remarked Zurna dryly to Kel. "He may have good intentions, but he sure is mixed up." Neal turned red. Kel stifled a laugh and raised an eyebrow.

"And what would she mean by this, Squire Nealan?" asked Kel, hands on hips. Ritza laughed openly. Neal blushed a deeper shade of red, then recovered.

"I'm sure I don't know, Squire Keladry," he replied. Kel was still confused, but decided not to question it any more. Instead, she walked over to a stall with bottles, all different shades and sizes. She picked up a blue bottle that was twisted in all different ways. In the middle, was a miniature glass griffin. She held it up to the light and the light refracted, forming rainbows everywhere. She knew this was what she wanted. She would buy this for Neal. She motioned to Ritza. She walked toward her, noticing what she was looking at.

"Ah, I see you like that one. That is a peculiar piece indeed. We picked it up somewhere outside of the copper isles."

"How much?" inquired Kel. Ritza rubbed her chin and looked at her shrewdly.

"I'll take 3 gold pieces for it, none less." Kel chewed her lip. It seemed a little steep, but not unreasonable. She decided to take a chance, and haggle.

"I'll give you one gold piece, and two silver pieces and one copper." Kel hoped she wouldn't have to argue for this bottle.

"Hmmmm…" thought Ritza "Ok, I'll give it to you. You drive a hard bargain, Squire Kel." Kel handed her the money, and Ritza wrapped the bottle in brown paper. Kel slipped the delicate package into her waist pouch. She smiled at Ritza. "There is actually an interesting history behind that bottle," said Ritza "They say that the queens of old would write a request on a scrap of paper, place it in the bottle and sure enough they say it would come true. Who knows, it may just be a myth, but it is fun to believe." Kel pondered this comment. This lady could have sold this bottle for much more that Kel had gotten it for. Why would she do that? Kel chewed a lip. Ritza took Kel's arm.

"Come, come meet the rest of the band." Ritza led Kel to a campfire near the middle of the encampment. There were about fourteen people around the small fire. There were men woman and children, all dressed for the road. The women wore well worn dresses, in a multitude of colors. The men, in pants and baggy shirts with suspenders. Ritza ushered her forward. "Everyone, this is Kel. She is our guest, and I'll have no trouble out of any of you, or you'll answer to me." called Ritza. She sat Kel down on a log next to a man in a faded orange shirt.

"Why, hello there." said the man. Kel turned to him. "Me name is Fenolio Tenhama. But you, duckling, may call me Fenn." He smiled at Kel. He hadn't shaved in what seemed a few days and was growing a slight beard. He seems a nice enough sort and handsome to boot, thought Kel. She smiled at the man.

"I'm Kel , pleased to meet you." He nodded and turned around. He picked up a fiddle from somewhere behind him. "Hey, Ritza, play us a song!" shouted Fenn. Ritza laughed as she grabbed the fiddle from Fenns hands. As she drew it up to rest against her chin, Neal took a seat next to Kel. Ritza raised her bow and drew it across the beautiful instrument to produce a pure, amazing note. She started up into a song that Kel didn't recognize. She started slow, in a minor key, and gradually increased in speed, until she was a blur of talent. Some of the other women got up to dance, the children too. Fenn picked up another fiddle, and harmonized with Ritza's already beautiful noise. The effect was wonderful. Caught up, Neal grabbed Kels hand and started to dance with her. She let out a startled laugh and went along with him. They jumped and twirled in time to the music, faster and faster. Finally, the song was finished and Kel sat down, tired from the quick pace of the dance. It had gotten dark quick, and Kel thought they should probably get back, but she didn't want to leave. As Neal sat down beside her, his hand brushed hers. Kel jerked back unprepared for the sudden touch. Neal did the same.

"Oh, sorry," said Neal

"It's ok," replied Kel, secretly wanting him to touch her again. Her insides did flips at the mere thought of holding his hand. They both stared into the fire. On her other side, Fenn leaned in to talk into her ear.

"You dance much like the fire, young one," He teased. Kel giggled. He smiled sweetly at her. She returned his smile. Was he flirting with her? She smiled at the thought. Boys didn't usually flirt with her, let alone men. She pushed a strand away from her face, the way the ladies in court did. He laughed and turned to stare into the fire. Kel did the same. Neal, now looking annoyed took her hand led her a little way away from the circle. Confused, Kel followed, letting herself be dragged along.

"Kel, what are you doing?" asked Neal, in an angered by that very tone Kel searched his face. Was that jealousy?

"What was I doing?" asked Kel.

"You know what you were doing! You were…flirting!" shouted Neal. He threw his hands in the air then let them fall to his sides. Kel hid behind her yamani mask.

"And why, Nealan of Queen's Cove, should I not? Hmm? I am entitled to do whatever I want and no one, especially not you can tell me what to do or not do!" she snapped. She was getting angry with him now. Neal, looking a little hurt stared into her eyes.

"Because …" said Neal. "Because…it makes me jealous! Is that what you wanted to hear? I get so many mixed feelings from you Kel. One minute, you accept me, then the next you're back behind your mask. All I want is ...is…" He turned around. Shocked, Kel thought quickly. She laid a hand on his shoulder. He turned around. Seeing the hurt look on his face, Kel started to cry. She went forward and gave him a hug. They stayed like that for a while until Neal pulled back to look at her. He pushed a stray lock of hair from her face. He pulled his hand back and led her back to the circle of gypsies.

They decided that it was time to get going back to the palace and say goodbye to their gypsy friends. Ritza engulfed Kel in a dramatic hug and waved goodbye as Kel and Neal saddled up and began to ride back to the palace. Keladry was left with her thoughts almost the entire ride home. She tried as best she could. Down side street and then another. Left, right straight left, straight. It all seemed like a blur in her mind. She chewed her lip as she thought about her feelings for Neal. She was utterly perplexed. 'Oh how I wish I could tell someone!' screamed Kel inside her head. She really, desperately wanted to tell everyone what she felt for Neal. It was driving her absolutely mad. She sighed out loud.

"What?" asked Neal. She noticed that he had heard her sigh.

"Oh, it's nothing," said Kel with sighs filling her voice. She wanted to tell him most of all. How she just wanted to run her fingers through his hair and feel his lips on hers. She sighed again. Neal just shook his head and kept leading her. Before she knew it, she was at the castle gates and Neal was dismounting. She followed suit and lead PeachBlossom into her stall. She fished through the bag on the wall of her stall and produced an apple. She fed it to PeachBlossom, stroking his silky mane. She sighed and walked up to her rooms.

As she walked into the entrance hall, she spied Neal and headed his way. She hit him lightly in the arm. He smiled at her. She sighed inwardly. She loved the way he smiled at her.

"What are you going to do now?" asked Neal. She thought. She hadn't really planned on doing anything. She was just gonna go up to her bedroom and...do nothing.

"Nothing really," she replied.

"Would you like to play me in a game of chess then?" asked Neal, a hopeful look on his face. She sighed. She wasn't a very good chess player.

"Well don't really play," said Kel.

"Then I'll go easy on you..." smirked Neal. She smiled back. She had to change first, if she was going to do anything.

"Lemme go and clean up first," said Kel. Neal nodded and she scurried off to her rooms. She came to her door and opened it to find it freezing. She shivered. She had left her window open again. She sighed and headed to close it. She took off her beautiful dress and threw it into the corner and grabbed a pair of breeches and a loose fitting shirt. Kel slipped them on, quickly splashed water on her face, and left for Neal's quarters.

She knocked on his door and waited. Kel was a little apprehensive. She was going in Neal's room! 'Oh stop it!' she told herself. 'You've been here hundreds of times!' He came to the door and invited her in. She walked in and sat down at the table near the corner of the room. On it was set a chess board and a bottle of cider with two cups. Neal sat down across from her. Kel studied his features, as she often did and was again smitten.

"So, do you know the rules and how to play generally?" he asked. He played the part of teacher to a younger pupil very well, and Kel didn't like it. She stuck her chin out indignantly.

"Of course I do...I just haven't played in a while," she smiled. He returned her smile with a mischievous grin.

"Ok then, you'll start." He sat back in his chair and waited. She thought silently and moved one of her pawns two spaces. Neal pondered his next move and moved a pawn on space. Kel knew what to do. Her memory of all the times she played with her parent came back to her. She moved a pawn one space. She waited for him to follow suit. He did just what she expected him to do. Kel moved her bishop forward to capture it.

"Drat!" cried Neal. He got a puzzled look on his face and thought. She smiled. He looked adorable when he did that. The game went on for a half an hour. Pieces moved, accusations were made finally...

"Check-mate!" cried Neal victoriously. Kel scowled at him. She sat back in her chair as Neal stood up and bowed deeply in a very dramatic way.

"You may have beaten me this time, but I will beat you someday!" Kel proclaimed. Neal came over to her, took her hand, and kissed it.

"Then, when that day comes, I shall be obliged to loose to you, fair maiden." Neal said this, his voice dripping with sarcasm. She blushed and scowled at him. Kel could still feel the faint warmth of Neal's lips where they had brushed her hand. It felt so exhillirating. She stood up and dusted off her pants.

"What now?" she asked

"Well, we could...umm. I don't know, what do you want to do? We could play cards? Or we could simply sit here an talk about absolutely nothing." said Neal with a smile. Kel smiled back. She put her hand to her chin, in thought.

"Well, I am certainly thirsty. Do have anything more to drink?" she asked.

"I'll send for another bottle of cider." While playing their little chess game, they had finished off the previous bottle of cider. Kel walked over to Neal's bed and sat down on it. Neal went into the hallway to catch a passing servant for a bottle of cider. When he came back in, he flopped down on his bed beside her. She pushed a stray lock of hair from his face and then thought, 'Am I flirting? Well, if I am, so what! I am allowed to flirt aren't? Where's the harm...' At her reasoning, she lay down on the bed beside him, their feet dangling off the side.

"So," Neal said. "Is there anything new and exciting happening in the life of Squire Keladry of Mindelan?"

"Not counting meeting a band of gypsies, having a romping good time and not to mention, meeting a rather dashing man who seemed to fancy me? Well in that case, then no. Nothing interesting at all." She smiled at herself. Neal sat up and looked at her.

"Did you really think that Fennolio character was dashing? Please, I am a thousand times better than him!" Neal lay back down. Kel laughed

"Neal, you may be good looking, but Fenn was utterly dashing and not to mention mature..." Neal threw a pillow at her head. She sat up, stunned.

"What was that for!" she asked.

"Well, I had to prove to you how mature I can be!" He picked up another pillow and threw it at her head. There was a soft knock. A servant was standing in the doorway with a flask of cider and two fresh cups. Neal thanked the servant, closed the door and set the refreshments down on the table. Before he had a chance to fully turn around, Kel whipped a pillow at his face. He screeched and ran at her. She squealed as Neal chased Kel around his quarters. She was always a step ahead and found that Neal was beginning to tire, so she tried to dart behind him and get him in a head lock. He noticed what she was about to do and cut her off. They collided and fell on the floor, Neal atop Kel, straddling her waist. They were both gasping for air, after having ran around in circles in Neal's room. Kel could feel the cold of the flagstones beneath her and then the warmth of Neal atop her. He stared into her eyes and she into his. They held the stare, longer than Kel had ever stared into those eyes before. But she didn't want to look away. Neal leaned in and kissed Kel. It was a sweet kiss, full of emotion and passion. She sank into the floor reveling in his kiss. he drew back and looked into her eyes again. Caught up and wanting more, Kel reached forward and brought him back down to kiss her again. He kissed her twice as passionately as the first time and twice as hard. She could feel her tongue on his lips, sweet and yet aggressive. She moaned with pleasure. Taking this advantage, he slipped his tongue in her mouth, making her moan again. She did the same to him but she wanted more. She rolled him over onto his back and sank deeper into their kiss.

* * *

ok guys, how was that. I personally think that it sucked. sigh I could have come up with something better, but this is what I got for now. please review! 

Hi! I'm Jess. My friend Amanda is writing this, and she got me to read a bit of it. When I did, I noticed there was an agonizing amount of typos. I personally won't read stories that have typos or paragraphs, so I decided to do a little editing work. I'm am going to be fixing the other chapters as well, but I just wanted to start with this one. Have fun reading!


	6. Chapter 6: Breakfast conversations

Ok guys, just so you know I have updated this story so often and I'm sorry for it. My beta, Jessica, is going over all my old chappies and re posting them without mistakes, so that should make it easier on you guys. Anyways, next time I won't post a new chappie without Jess reading it first, so there aren't any huge mistakes! Sorry again! And now…for that "long awaited" chapter…

(Oh, and another thing…I can not stress how important it is to review! I don't care if you think it sucks, tell me if you do! I like to hear from my readers, and I have 230 hits on this story, so I know that most of you aren't reviewing! Pleeeeaaasseeee review!)

* * *

_Last chapter:_

_It was a sweet kiss, full of emotion and passion. She sank into the floor reveling in his kiss. He drew back and looked into her eyes again. Caught up and wanting more, Kel reached forward and brought him back down to kiss her again. He kissed her twice as passionately as the first time and twice as hard. She could feel her tongue on his lips, sweet and yet aggressive. She moaned with pleasure. Taking this advantage, he slipped his tongue in her mouth, making her moan again. She did the same to him but she wanted more. She rolled him over onto his back and sank deeper into their kiss…_

* * *

Neal separated from their kiss and stood up, dusting off his breeches. He smiled at Kel and gave her a hand up. She accepted and he led her from the ground over to his bed. She followed, wanting to taste him again. He sat her down and leaned in to kiss her. She put her arms around his neck and they leaned down on his bed. They kissed passionately, Neal's hands roaming from her shoulders, to her back and down to her waist. Suddenly, they were on her backside. She let out a little gasp as he squeezed her. She ran her fingers through his silky hair. She loved the way he felt on her, the way he knew just how to kiss her. She felt so safe, so loved. Then she felt the touch of a hand on the clasp of her pants. She gasped and grabbed Neal's hand. 

"No Neal," she said as he backed off a little. "I … I'm not ready for that yet."

He nodded, understanding. She breathed a slight sigh of relief. She was scared. Scared of what that would do to her. She wasn't sure if the ant pregnancy charm she had worked, and she wasn't about to test it out now, not when she was so close to earning her shield. No, she had too much to do first. She leaned her head on his shoulder and took his hand in hers. He kissed her forehead and stroked her hand with his thumb. They sat like that for a while in blissful silence, each thinking about the recent turn of events. So much had happened. Kel was at peace inside, feeling safe and secure and loved all at the same time. A bell chimed in the distance. It was 8 o'clock already. Kel sighed and rose off Neal's bed, their hands still intertwined. Neal rose with her and they walked to the door.

"I'll walk you to your room," said Neal, the picture of boyish innocence. She smiled at him.

"I'd like that very much." Kel replied. She wondered, 'Is this what it feels like to be a lady? If it is, then I should do it more often.' She smiled inwardly. He led her out the door and into the hallway towards Kel's room.

"Kel, I love you." Neal told her.

"I love you too Neal."

They reached Kel's door and Neal swept her up in a passionate embrace. They held like that for what seemed an eternity. Kel didn't want to let go, but she knew she had to. Thankfully, Neal broke the hug and kissed her good night. She smiled at him and entered her rooms. She squealed with delight and flopped on her bed. Oh how silly she was acting! She got a hold on herself. She had to get a grip on her emotions. She was a disgrace to the yamani culture. She threw off her shirt and breeches and pulled on her night dress. She lay down in bed and blew out her lights. She lay in the dark thinking about Neal, and how they would handle this new found relationship. Slowly, she drifted into a deep sleep.

_Kel walked down the empty corridor, searching…searching for someone. She passed door after door, although none of them were the one that she wanted. Then she saw it. _The _door. She grabbed for the handle and twisted the knob. The door swung open and she saw who she wanted. He stood there in all his glory, although strangely, she couldn't remember who he was. She sighed at the relief of finally finding him and engulfed him in a hug. He was a had taller than her and returned her embrace whole heartedly. While they hugged they seemed to be flying through air, time and space. The air rushed passed her and then it was over. They stood as if nothing had ever happened and the man broke the embrace. They were now surrounded by people. More of Kel's friends whom she knew that she knew, only their names weren't important. She greeted them, her fingers laced in his. She felt him tense suddenly and looked at him only to see him standing rigid. His shirt, which was white slowly began to turn red. She cried out and tried to catch him as he fell to the ground. He fell, and fell, always out of her reach. He finally landed in a heap on the ground. Behind him was his killer. She looked up and saw her. The vile woman who had killed her lover. She looked, only to stare into the face of herself…_

Kel woke with a start, gasping for breath. She was sweating and the effect of the cold air hitting her skin made her freeze. She rolled over and punched her pillow. Already she was forgetting the details of that…that nightmare! She stalked to her fireplace and grabbed the bucket of warm water waiting for her, set there early by some maid. She carefully carried the scalding water to her washroom and poured the water into a washtub. She slipped off her night gown and slid into the warm water. She was slowly recovering from the horrors of the dream. She couldn't even remember what happened. All she could remember was that it was earth shattering. She shook the last thoughts of the nightmare from her mind and breathed in the steam emitting from the warm water. She sat, lapping up all the warmth of the water. Taking a breath, she plunged her head under the water. She shivered as the water filled her ears. Everything sounded different under water. She hummed to herself. She liked the way her voice was magnified in her ears. She pushed her head out of the water and took a deep breath. Grabbing a bar of soap, she scrubbed at her skin and her hair, removing all the grime from her body. When she had finished, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body. She shivered, stepping on to the cold flagstones of the castle floors. Tiptoeing, she made her way over to her closet. She decided that she was getting sloppy and loose and that she needed to train today. She picked out a pair of beige breeches, a loose fitting green shirt and also a tunic in the colors of the house of Golden Lake. She took her clothes and quickly dressed in front of the fire. Wringing out her short hair, she wrapped the towel around it and went over to her desk to plan out her day.

She extracted a roll of parchment and a quill from somewhere in a desk drawer and wrote on top _Things To Do Today._ She thought of some things she would need to do today and idly chewed the end of her quill. She decided to go down to the practice courts and work on hand to hand combat first, then maybe for a little sword and glaive practice. Later she could work on some tilting and maybe joust against an opponent. She surveyed her list of activities, rolled it up and stuffed it in her pocket. She grabbed her glaive and did some fairly simple pattern dances before heading down to the mess hall for breakfast.

Kel walked into the hall, which was filling up a little, but was still a little empty. She stood in line and waited as her tray was loaded with eggs, sausage and fruit. She gathered up some utensils and went to sit at her usual table. No one from her group was there yet, but that was fine with her. Just as she was about to take a bite of egg, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to find herself looking into the smiling face of Neal. She grinned. He leaned in and…Kel put a hand up to his lips.

"Neal, please, not in public…" Kel whispered to her more-than-friend. He looked a little down trodden, but she could see he understood. He went and grabbed a tray also loaded with delicious food and slipped down into the seat next to Kel. Owen, Merric and Seaver came in and sat down at the table also to join their friends in their breakfast.

"Where have you guys been lately?" asked Owen, his curly head bouncing in excitement.

"Have a little too much sugar Owen?" asked Merric with a laugh, tussling Owen's hair. Owen swatted his hand away and scowled. Kel laughed, trying to chew her eggs at the same time. She swallowed and continued to laugh.

"Well, yesterday, me and Neal went into the city. I need to get some shopping done."

"And you didn't invite us! Well, I feel loved…" complained Seaver. He had a look of fake depression on his face. Kel rolled her eyes and picked at her potatoes, pushing them around her plate. She had her other hand on the bench next to her. She knew Neal's hand was inches away from hers. She could feel warmth radiating from his hand to hers. She inched her hand a little closer towards his, but only a millimeter. She wanted him to take her hand in his, to feel his warmth. Then she felt his touch. Although their hands were just touching slightly, she still felt a rush of adrenaline. She could feel him moving his hand toward hers, closer, so that her hand was inside his. He stroked his thumb across her hand and Kel wanted to melt. She felt so special, so loved.

"What's the matter Kel? You look funny." Owen asked, a confused look on her face. She blushed, noticing that she was grinning like an idiot. She instantly put on her yamani mask and threw up her defenses. Merric elbowed Owen hard in the ribs.

_"What!" _Owen yelled. Seaver just shook his head. Kel blushed, picked up her tray and gave it to the servers. She then stalked out of the mess hall and made her way towards the stables. That was the last straw. She had to stop acting so foolish and concentrate on winning her shield. She would have plenty of time for romance later.

Seaver stared at the doorway that Kel had just stormed out through. He shot a glare at Owen.

"Good going, now you've upset her!" cried Neal, as he left to go find where Kel had gone off to. Now Seaver, Merric and Owen were all staring at the door, pondering the events that had just unfolded. Simultaneously, Merric and Seaver turned to Owen and smacked him in the head. Merric cocked his heads in wonder. What could have them going like this? He had no idea, but he was determined to find out.

"I'll catch up with you guys later." said Merric as he stood up and followed Neal to find out just what was making him and Kel so disagreeable. He just had to know…

Hey, people. It's Jess again. I finished re-doing all the chapters. Only problem is, I don't read the Tamora Pierce books, so I can't really correct names that I've never heard of before! If you see a name that is mispelled, PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW WITH THE PROPER SPELLING!


	7. Chapter 7: A Secret Revealed

Woot! My story is catching on! Yeees. Oh, and sorry for the misspelling of peach blossoms name. My beta hasn't read the stories( I know, le gasp right?) and she changed them. So anyways, thanks for the response to my story and I'll be writing another story about the chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe soon ; )

_Last chapter:_

"_Good going, now you've upset her!" cried Neal, as he left to go find where Kel had gone off to. Now Seaver, Merric and Owen were all staring at the door, pondering the events that had just unfolded. Simultaneously, Merric and Seaver turned to Owen and smacked him in the head. Merric cocked his heads in wonder. What could have them going like this? He had no idea, but he was determined to find out._

"_I'll catch up with you guys later." said Merric as he stood up and followed Neal to find out just what was making him and Kel so disagreeable. He just had to know…_

* * *

Kel decided that she needed to start doing that list of things she had created earlier. She walked into the stables and grabbed Peachblossom's tack. She slung his saddle over his back and quickly did the straps and made sure they were secure. She placed and secured his bridal and other tack and was ready to mount up. Just then, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around…it was Neal. 

"Oh. Neal, its you," said Kel, sounding tired.

"Yes, its me. What was that about back there?" He placed a hand on her shoulder and she shrugged it off.

"Neal, you wouldn't understand," she sighed heavily. "Look, I just need to be alone." She turned her back on him and was about to lift her foot into the stirrup. Neal grabbed her and spun her around, making him face him.

"Kel, you can't say that! I won't understand if you don't tell me what's bothering you!" He threw his hands up in exasperation. She glared at him. That was it. He wanted to know what was wrong. Then she would tell him…

* * *

Merric followed Neal down a hallway then another. They were heading to the stables. Keeping quiet so Neal wouldn't find out he was being followed, he crept silently along, intent on finding out what was up between Neal and Kel. Neal walked out into the practice yard towards the stables. This would be tricky. There were few trees out here for cover. Luckily, Neal was too preoccupied to even notice that Merric was there. When they had both reached the stables, Merric ran and hid behind a stack of hay nearby. Crouching so he could see and not be seen, he watched intently at the scene before him. Neal tapped Kel on the shoulder and she spun around. He placed a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. They seemed to be fighting about something, but what? He couldn't hear properly, he had to get closer. He snuck from behind his hiding place to some stacked bags of horse feed closer to his two friends. He could now hear every word they were saying. 

"Neal, you wouldn't understand. look, I just need to be alone." She turned around, but Neal turned her back around.

"Kel, you can't say that! I won't understand if you don't tell me what's bothering you!" Neal threw his hands up. Oh gods, thought Merric. She looks like she's going to hit him…

* * *

"You want to know what's the matter! Fine! I'll tell you what's the matter!" 

"Ever since I met you, we've been friends! Now, all that's changing. I'm not that comfortable with showing emotion, and since what happened last night, that's all that I seem to be doing! It's getting ridiculous!" Kel was now screaming at the top of her lungs. "What's worse is that not only am I showing emotions, but people are noticing! And if they're noticing, other people are! People that may just figure out what's going on!" She stood there, breathing heavily.

"Kel, no one will notice," Neal said, more tenderly. "And the only one that noticed was Owen, and he can't keep his mouth shut half the time …" He stopped. "Oh."

"Oh, is right! If anyone finds out…you know! You know what they'll say! It, it's just not fair, it's…" Neal held her head in his hands and kissed her…

* * *

Merric sat there on his haunches, behind the bags of feed, intently watching his two friends fight. They were going at it like two cats put in a bag and shaken up. He stared, incredulity written on his face. These two had never fought like this in all the time he's known them. He chewed his lip thoughtfully, thinking of why they could be doing this. He stared into space for amoment, thinking, then resumed listening to their heated conversation. 

" - and if they're noticing, other people are! People that may just figure out what's going on!" he heard Kel shout. What was she talking about? He had to know.

"Kel, no one will notice. And the only one that noticed was Owen, and he can't keep his mouth shut half the time …oh." Neal stopped. Noticed what! Merric chewed his lip as Kel spoke again.

"Oh, is right! If anyone finds out…you know! You know what they'll say! It, it's just not fair, it's…" Merric watched as Neal took Kels face in his hands and kissed her and…Merrics eyes widened. Neal just kissed Kel! Merric almost shouted in surprise, but he quickly caught himself. Spinning around he slowly snuck from his hiding place, scuttled behind the hay bails and eventually ran out of the stables. He let out a breath sharply and collapsed against the back wall of the stables. Running a hand through his hair, he tried to remember a glance, a…a word that would have given this away. He couldn't remember anything! He suddenly felt angry. Why didn't they tell them! They werefriends! He sighed. Neal wasn't allowed to to like Kel. Kel was sexless. She was just one of us. He stood up from where he was hunched on the ground and headed back to the mess hall. He needed to do something about this. Soon...

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How did you like it? I know it wasn't as good as my other chapters…urg! It should be better. Just incase you read it again and see its different, then you know I got fed up and changed it. Oh, and my beta hasn't read this yet, so excuse the mistakes. Thanks for reading. Please review: )


	8. Chapter 8: A Friend Returns

Okay, as I was informed, I need a disclaimer on every darn chapter so, here it is…

Disclaimer: I own none of theses fabulous characters, although, however much I would wish to own Neal…hehe…; )

Oh, and thank you to my loyal reader ladyknight1512. Shes always been with me and my story, since its very start. And my friend melsterchaos, for pushing my to update soooo much…heh.

* * *

_Last chapter:_

_Neal wasn't allowed to to like Kel. Kel was sexless. She was just one of us. He stood up from where he was hunched on the ground and headed back to the mess hall. He needed to do something about this.Soon._

* * *

Merric trudged back to the castle, pondering the events of late. It just wasnt fair. What isn't fair? He thought to himself. Well, the fact that neal gets kel all to himself. He dosnt deserve her, he argued. Then he stopped. He stopped and stood perfectly still. What was he doing! Why should he care if Neal and Kel are together! No matter what, she'll still be Kel. And Neal will still be…Neal. Oh Neal. Neal's past experience with girls wasn't too reassuring. 'He was fickle from one girl to the next,' Merric thought to himself, biting a lip and then continued his laborious walk up to the castle. On no account did he want Kel to get hurt, and Merric had a feeling that that was exactly what was going to happen. 

A bell rang in the distance as Merric reached the castle doors and walked inside. Breakfast had just ended, but, being a Saturday, he knew where he could find the rest of his friends. He ran up the main stairway and headed for the library. What would he tell them? Should he tell the truth…? Should he tell them that he had just see their two best friends kissing in the stables? No. He should at least try and keep this quiet. At least for Kel's sake. Merric walked down the corridor leading to the library. He ushered open the door to reveal his friends all encircled in a corner of the room. Whats going on he thought? Just then, the group of boys parted to reveal a very tall red headed someone…

* * *

Kel reluctantly broke their kiss and leaned her head against Neals' shoulder. She began to cry, very quietly. 

"I don't like feeling all these emotions, Neal," she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Kel, its alright." Neal rubbed her back comfortingly. "Don't cry, it's okay." Kel sat up and wiped her tears as neal grabbed her chin to look into her eyes. " Kel, look. I love you, and that's all that matters. If anyone, I mean ANYONE for one minute questions your dignity, may the gods help me, I'll run them through."

Kel gave him a weak smile, and Neal enveloped her in a hug. Drawing back and dusting off her tunic, she looked at her best friend and love.

"Now, will you ride with me? I'm afraid I've fallen wildly out of practice with my jousting skills. I know you don't like it, but I really do need the practice. " Neal grimaced. Kel laughed, imagining if he was remembering the last time he fell out of his saddle. Never the less, he agreed and they both saddled up their horses and rode into a practice field, lances in hand.

* * *

"Merric!" cried the tall red head. "How've you been?" 

"Cleon!" Merric walked forward and took his friend in a gruff hug. "Good to see you." His thoughts about Kel and Neal almost all but drifted from his head.

"I'm fine, fine. It's not easy being a _working_ squire you know." Cleon put on an act of mock self pity as his friends attacked him. They all fell laughing, and settled into chairs around their friend.

"So," asked Merric "How was it traveling around the realm? Is there much trouble brewing?"

Cleon's look changed from one of joy, to one of a very tired squire. "The immortals are attacking more and more frequently in residential areas. And Scanra…well, Scanra is not being very nice." Cleon gave a weak smile. They were silent for a spell, then Cleon spoke again.

"So, where are the prince of sarcasm and our delicate flower petal? They are here aren't they?" Merric smiled. Cleon always called Kel by flowery names. Of corse he was joking, but this time, Merric saw a glimmer of feeling in his eyes when Cleon said it. Then he remembered. What would he say? He didn't want to tell them all, he was sure they'd find out soon enough.

"I believe they're in the stables, practicing or the such. You know Kel, she can't stand to be useless." Merric decided that the best thing to do would just play dumb…so he intended to do just that.

"Well! I daresay that we had better take a visit down to the practice yard and watch Kel give our manly friend a beating!" Cleon stood up and headed out the doors, a trail of boys behind him. The last to follow was Cleon. 'I hope they're not still going at it,' he thought, 'Or they're well kept secret will be out.'

* * *

Kel and Neal lined up at opposite ends of the practice field, waiting to run at each other. Kel waited silently for Neal to give the signal. His hand went up, then down. Kel leaned forward and whispered into Peach Blossom's ear. 

"Fast… but not a charge, boy. You know what to do." Peach Blossom shook his head and ran forward. Kel steadied her lance and readied herself for the impact. She decided to take it easy on Neal and hit the side of his sheild instead of hitting him straight on. She anticipated the contact …three, two, one…crash! She hit just to the left of the center of his shield and rode to the end. She turned Peach Blossom around, ready for another go…only to see Neal on his back in the mud. She stiffled a laugh as he rolled onto his knees. She jumped off Peach Blossom and ran toward him .

"Are you okay?" she asked, holding out a hand to help him up. He accepted the hand and she walked him over to the fence.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he groaned, taking off his dirty tunic and placed it on the fence to dry. With all the rain they'd had lately, the land was wet. Luckily, the shirt he was wearing underneath was not. The sun felt good on his face as they leaned against the fence.

"Do you want to try some staff work, or hand to hand combat instead?" Kel inquired. Neal nodded." I don't understand how I could have taken you out of the saddle. I hit your shield to the side. If anything, you should have knocked me off."

"Kel, I'm terrible at jousting," she laughed as he shot her a look, which made her laugh harder. They stood up and made their way to the stables, to put away their steeds and grab their staffs.

After rubbing down and storing their horses back in the stables, they grabbed their staffs and headed out to a lone dry patch of grass. Kel's staff was much heavier than a normal wooden staff. The ends were filled with lead, because of a prank Joren had tried to get her to fall for. She overcame that, and it stuck with her. Kel took a ready stance and Neal did the same.

"Ready?" she asked when he took the proper stance.

"Just so you know, I'm not going easy on you because you're a girl," Neal teased.

Kel grinned. She would just have to show him what kind of girl she was then. She circled him, not wanting to make the first move. Neal struck low, Kel blocked. She concentrated on his movements, looking for a window of opportunity. He struck again, and faked a left hit. Kel successfully blocked both and struck low, trying to sweep him off his feet. Neal jumped and swung for her waist, the fight was starting to pick up, hit after block after missed blow. Faster and faster they fought. Sweat began to form on theirs brows. Then Kel saw it, her window. Neal was beginning to tire and his left side was unprotected. She pretended to hit right then quickly changed when he was in midblock and hit him on the side. He staggered and fell as Kel grabbed his staff. She had won. Panting, she grinned at him

"I hope you didn't go easy on me," she joked. Neal gave a grin.

"Well done!" There was clapping from behind them. How did she always manage to draw a crowd…and not notice!

"I see you've been beaten again Neal. Oh well, you'll always lose to our Rose Petal, don't you?" Kel grinned and raced toward her friened.

"Pearl of my heart! Have you missed me, my little dove?" Cleon joked as he took her into a hug. She hit him lightly on the arm. After all, she knew he was joking.

"Isn't it jolly, Kel? We're all together! It was so boring when you were all away." Cleon grinned and tosseled Owens hair.

"Well, I won't be here forever, you know. I have to save Tortall and what not," said Cleon with mock heroisism. "So, how are our favorite squires this fine day?"

"Well we were just fine untill you came along, of course," Neal joked. Cleon's smile was replaced by a look of mock hurt.

"Am I to believe that I am not needed or wanted here? Well then I'll just go then…" he turned around and Kel grabbed his shoulder.

"Oh come now Cleon. It's time for lunch anyways. Who votes for eating?" The majority of her friends raised their hands.

'Well,' thought merric. 'Based on what happened this morning, this should be interesting, especialy throwing Cleon into the mix.' The hodgepodge group headed out of the practice yards and went to the mess for a light lunch.

Upon entering, they snagged their usual table and began pelting Cleon with questions of , "Where have you been lately?" and, "What's the news on the situation with Scanra?" He just threw up his hands and went to get a tray of food. The others followed and they all returned to their table, with trays full of fruits and cold meat sandwiches.

"I shall answer no more of your questions. It's time I got a few answers of my own anyway," Cleon stated. He was sitting directly across from Kel, who was seated next to him. Next to Neal was Owen. Merric and Seaver were seated next to each other to the right of Cleon.

"Now first of all, when did you all grow up?" he asked jokingly. Everyone smiled at him. Kel scoffed.

"Oh, because you are so much older then we are. 'When did you all grow up?' Really…" Kel joked. Cleon smiled at her.

"Well, my rose, I am a considerable amount taller than you, might I add. Although, you seem to be attempting to catch up." He flashed her a smile. She blushed slightly. Neal noticed. He frowned a little and then quickly replaced it with a plaster smile.

"So Cleon, how've things been? Have you found a girl on your illustrious adventure?" Cleon gave a sad smile.

"Actually, yes. I'm betrothed…to be married."

Everyone sat there stuned their mouths agape. Kel also stared. Where had this come from?

"When?" Kel asked.

"About a month ago. After my families land had been attacked by Scanran bandits, we are considerably low on coin. As son, I am obliged to mary her for her dowry. But, you know what? I think I actually like her. She's pretty and funny. She can even sing fairly well." He attempted to joke but his friends still stared at him. Merric noticed this and coughed.

"Well, we are all glad for you, aren't we boys?" He clapped Cleon on the back. "Oh and lady." He smiled at Kel and Kel grinned in reply.

"And don't you ever forget it," Kel laughed.

They ate their meal in peacefull bliss, happy to be all together. Kel sighed a little, content and folded her hands in her lap. 'Why couldn't it always be this way?' She thought silently. She liked it like this. The quiet afternoons with just her and her friends. It was all as it had been when they were pages. No drama, no misguided feelings… all was at rest. She wanted this moment to never end. But then what would there be between you and Neal, Lady Kel? What about that? A nasty little voice rang out through her thoughts. Before all these misguided feelings as you like to think of them you were alone. Poor little Kel. Neal never liked you then. Oh no. you weren't a court lady. Kel frowned and tried to push these thoughts out of her head completely. She was sure she was losing her mind.

"What's the matter Kel?" both Merric and Neal asked in unison. She frowned a little more. She wasn't sure why, but she had an odd feeling…oh well.

"Oh, it's nothing. I was just thinking. Thinking about how I wish this moment could last forever. Everything is back like when we were all pages. Its so nice," she sighed. "No dramatics, and no worries."

"Ah ha, m'lady. But at present, there is no Joren," Seaver spoke up his voice rising a little. Everyone chuckled at this. As pages they had given Joren and his gang quite a run for their money. Neal and Kel locked eyes and he flashed her a grin. She almost blushed but instantly put on her Yamani mask to prevent another breakfast episode from happening again. She stared back down at her food and finished off the last of her vegetables. That had reminded her.

"Neal, eat your vegetables."

"Yes mother Kel…" he replied, the very picture of a chastised little boy. She flashed him a wicked grin and walked to give her tray to the servers table. She graciously thanked them for a wonderful meal and headed back to the table.

"So Cleon, you never did tell us why you were her, and how long?" Kel asked curiously.

"Well, Keladry, midwinter is less than a week away. And if I'm not mistaken, some of our rowdy bunch are to be taking their ordeal," he looked thoughtfully at Merric and Seaver. "Not to mention our friend the prince."

Kel had almost forgotten that her friends were abut to undergo the most challenging experience of their lives. She was worried for her friends. What if something went wrong, what if…more what if's. She sighed. She was going mad.

"Well, I for one am quite bored with your company, but I am afraid that I havent spoken with my knight master in quite some time, and I believe it is time I checked up on him," Kel told them all.

"Sir Rauol? You've left him alone this long? All by himself?" Neal joked. "I'll come with you. I've always wanted to see how a real knight lived anyway."

"Are you trying to say the Lioness isn't a real knight?" Kel put her hands on her hips and frowned.

"Kel, she's more than a real knight. She's a bloody saint. Every time theres another village we pass through it's, 'Oh good Neal, we can save all these poor people! It will be good training for you!' Every bleeding village!" He threw his hands in the air. Kel laughed a bit, said a short goodbye to her friends, gave Cleon a hug and headed off to her adjoining rooms with her knight master with Neal.

They had just started off down the hall way and were out of sight of everyone when Neal pushed her to the side, into a small alcove where there was a rather beautiful glass window. He took her hands in his and kissed her. Her heart fluttered. Then she hit him on the arm.

"Ow!" he said quietly. "What was that for?"

"That was for taking me by surprise!" she said.

"Well then you probably won't like this either then…" he trailed off and looked about to leave her when he kissed her agin.

"Really! That's not funny! Youre such an immature little boy," she chided him and he smiled at her.

"Ah, but yet, you continue to feel for me, do you not?" she grinned and took his hand. Making sure no one was in the hallway, she pulled him into the middle of it and they continued their walk to the room of Sir Raoul of Golden Lake.

Upon finding his door, they knocked and waited for him to answer. Kel noticing that she was still holding Neal's hand hastily broke the hold and wiped her palms on her tunic. Just then, Raoul opened the door. He was a considerable amount tidier than when she had seen him a few days ago, but his room was still a mess.

"Oh look, it's my squire! So good to see you again. Oh, and you've brought a friend." He gave her an irritated look and invited them in.

"Im sorry, I should have come to you when I got back from the city the other day, but it was just so late..and I've had so much on my mind lately."

"I'm sure you have. Anyways, you weren't really needed anyways. I just was worried is all. But, I see you're in good company." He glanced at Neal and then shuffled some papers on his desk.

"Um, yes sir. Well, now that I am here and accounted for, is there anything I may do? I am your squire you know."

Sir Raoul scoffed and then seeing her serious look he straightened and wiped his palms on his pant legs.

"Well, actually yes there is. You know that midwinter is only three days in coming. If I am correct, some of your friends will be taking their ordeals, am I right?" Kel nodded. "Yes, so after all the necessary feasting and most enjoyable parties, we will be leaving and riding again with the third company of the own. I've spent too long pent up in this castle. I need to become a real knight again. I believe Lady Allana is going to do the same, Neal, so you may want to see what her plans are."

"Yes sir," Neal replied. Kel sighed a little. Well, she thought, there goes the quiet togetherness. Then another thought came to her. There also goes Neal. She was instantly worried. He'll go off to places unknown and meet some mature well bred beatiful lady and forget all about her.

"Is something the matter Keladry?" questioned the knight master.

"Oh, no sir, it's nothing. Well if there isn't anything needed done at the present-"

Raoul cut her off. "I almost forgot the point of my little rant. I need you to make a list of supplies we'll need and also a tally of supplies we contain currently. I don't mean right now of course. Meet me here later and I'll tell you my plans for us and the third. Well anyways, be off. Have fun with your friends before you grow old like me and physically can't."

Kel smiled and said goodbye as she and Neal left the untidy room. Kel chewed her lip in thought. Where were they headed to? More importantly, where was Neal going to be. She took Neals hand and stopped him, turning to look in his eyes, all masks down.

"Neal, I'm worried," she confessed gravely.

"What ever for?" Neal asked.

"I don't want to leave. Everything is going to change. I can feel it."

Neal cooed to her, "Love, trust me, nothing is going to change. Especially my feelings towards you. I love you Kel. As for our friends? Nothing could change them, not even the gods themselves. Well, maybe the gods, but I'm sure that they've more important matters to tend to." Kel smiled and put her head down. Neal lifted it to look into his eyes. "Trust me. Everything will be alright. Now, stop worrying! you'll worry yourself to death, I swear." He smiled and pulled her down the hallway towards the library. She loved her friend more than anything in the world. She didn't know what she would do without him...

Cleon, Seaver, and Owen all were seated on armchairs in the library. Merric lounged on a window seat, one leg hanging over the side. He had a ball in his hands filled with flour. The effect made it moldable and squishy. If you squeezed it, it was supposed to relieve stress. Merric squeezed the ball in vain. Obviously, the hag who sold it to him was lying.

"So, Cleon the tall is getting married, eh?" questioned Seaver. "I thought you'd be the last of us to do so."

"Yes well, everyone seemed thouroughly shocked at lunch, including our Kel." Merric stopped squeezing.

"I'm sure she was happy for you. Really." Merric said.

"Yes well. Can I tell you all something? Will you all take it to your graves?" The boys nodded.

"Well, to tell the truth, I am in love with Kel." They all gaped at him. All except Merric who put his head in his hands. 'Great, another one to add to her fan clun,' he thought.

"But, you're getting married! And…Kel's, well, Kel's Kel!" cried Owen.

Merric hit his head against the wall he was leaning on and stared out the window rolling his eyes. He scoffed.

"Well Merric, you don't seem to particularly like this news. Whats the matter, jealous?" he stood up and leaned against the wall in front of Merric.

"No, but I know someone who will be ever so happy when he hears that news…?" Merric sat up.

"Who?" questioned Cleon. Merric stood to look up at the man in front of him. Cleon was almost a half a head taller than Merric and loomed down on him. Merric sighed and walked to the table.

"Our friend Neal. There's something between them."

"You're lying. How do you know?" Cleon looked slightly confused and angry at the ame time.

"I saw them! Together! This morning in the stables, before I saw you this morning. He kissed her and she showed no signs of protest, my friend." At this everyone gaped even more than they had at Cleon's news. The entire room was filled with slack jaws. Cleon paced the room and sat down finally in a chair near the fireplace. He stared at the unlit structure for a while. Just then, Neal and Kel walked in.

* * *

Ooooooooooooohhh, the plot thickens! Dun dun DUUUUN! Hahahah, well, anyways. See Melissa, I can update! Anyways, read/review! 


	9. Chapter 9: The Library Confrontation

Disclaimer…- no, I do not own Neal. Darn it! I wish I did. Oh, I don't own anything else either. 

Okay guys, this chapter is going to be a little choppy. My beta has found a boyfriend, and she's unable to correct for me anymore. Sorry, and don't hate me too much!

**Jess:** She's lying! I'm working on it when I have time!!!

**Last chapter: **

* * *

"No, but I know someone who will be ever so happy when he hears that news…" Merric sat up.

"Who?" questioned Cleon. Merric stood to look up at the man in front of him. Cleon was almost a half a head taller than Merric and loomed down on him. Merric sighed and walked to the table.

"Our friend Neal. There's something between them."

"You're lying. How do you know?" Cleon looked slightly confused and angry at the same time.

"I saw them! Together! This morning in the stables, before I saw you this morning. He kissed her and she showed no signs of protest, my friend." At this everyone gaped even more than they had at Cleon's news. The entire room was filled with slack jaws. Cleon paced the room and sat down finally in a chair near the fireplace. He stared at the unlit structure for a while. Just then, Neal and Kel walked in.

* * *

Kel was smiling to her self slightly as she and Neal walked into the library, hoping to find some of their friends. Sure enough there they were…staring at her with a gaping expression.

"What's the matter?" she asked, utterly confused. She and Neal stopped in the entranceway. She gazed around the room. Not only were some of her friends there, but the whole rowdy gang was there. Cleon included. It was like old times again. Then something unthinkable happened. Cleon, whose expression was a mix of confusion and anger turned to rage. He slowly walked over to Neal and punched him square in the face. Kel screamed.

"CLEON! WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING?" she shouted. What was going on here? She wanted an explanation. Now.

Cleon stared down Neal, who was now holding a hand to his nose, which had probably been broken. He held out his bloody hand and looked at it in pure confusion. His other hand then began glowing a sparkly blue. He held it to his nose and transferred his magic, healing himself. The bleeding stopped and some of the pain was probably gone, but he didn't look good. Kel slung a comforting arm over his shoulder. He looked into her eyes. The look of confusion he had been wearing now looked as it would never come off again.

" Wh-what was that for?" Neal managed to choke out, looking up at Cleon. Cleon glared at him.

"That was for Kel," he said, almost his. Kel's face screwed up in a look of sheer disbelief.

What on earth was he going on about, she thought. Cleon started again.

"And that was an official challenge." he stalked out of the library and down the hall.  
Neal stared back up at Kel. He still looked utterly and all out confused. Kel offered him a hand and he took it, getting up on his feet. Neal moved his nose to and fro to make sure no real damage had been done.

"I'm lucky he didn't break my nose…what was all that about!" he shouted and looked around the room at the bystanders. Kel could see Seaver and Owen seated at one of the tables and Merric was lounging in the window box, studiously glaring and cleaning his nails. There were a few other random boys in the room that had no doubt been added to their rowdy group while she was away. They all were either pretending to be occupied in a book they were studying, or a string in the nearest rug while some stared open mouthed at Kel and Neal. Then, Owen spoke up.

"Is it true then, Kel?"

"Is what true?" she asked.

"Did Neal really kiss you?"

Kel blinked in shock and blushed deep red. How had they found out about that? She brought her hands up to her forehead and began massaging her temples as she sighed. How was she going to explain this? How was she going to explain that she was in love with Neal? And why did they all have to be staring at her?

"H-how did you find out about it?" she stammered.

All the boys in the room were silent. Neal put his hands on his hips beside her. Their heads were all bent downwards, their eyes trained on inconspicuous spots on the floor. Then she saw Merric stand up.

"You know how they know Kel? Because I saw you. Because after you ran out with Neal on your heels, I figured something had to be amiss. So I followed you two to the stables." he had seemed to be trying to hold back a mixture of emotions, which came out in a flood. "How could you Neal? She's Kel! She's one of us. None of us are supposed to like her…that way. I can't believe you!" he shouted. Neal looked at him guiltily.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't think you all would react this way. I didn't think you lot would care so much. Especially Cleon. He almost broke my nose! Now you're telling me what I can and can't do? Well you know what? I don't have to do what you say, do I? No, I don't." Kel couldn't believe what she was hearing! What had happened to her friends? They were all acting as if she was an object to be had, and she was about to tell them that until…

"And if I want to kiss Kel, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to kiss her." he then turned to Kel, grabbed her shoulders and kissed her hard on the mouth. She was fuming at this time. What the hell did he think he was doing! She pulled back and slapped him across the face. She could feel emotion burning her throat and tears threatening to spill.

"You're all acting ridiculous!" she shouted. "What do you think I am? Some sort of courtly idiot?" then the tears came. She began shouting again, still crying. "Am I some prize to be won? Now Cleon has challenged Neal to a Duel! What's wrong with you all? We used to be friends. All of us…I, I…" she turned and ran out of the room, sobbing. She ran down the hall and up the stairs to her room, slamming the door behind her. She immediately flung herself on her bed and cried until she could cry no longer. It started out as crying out of self pity, then it branched into all the things she had wanted to cry for and hadn't. She kept remembering things like her brother nearly dropping her off a balcony, the dead kittens, her run-ins with bandits, her friends, her family, and anything else she thought of.

* * *

Back in the library, after Kel ran out, Neal stood there, still trying to absorb what had just happened. He threw himself into a nearby overstuffed chair and sighed loudly.

"What have I done?" he asked.

"You've been a fool" said Merric.

"You started it!" Neal shouted at him." you're the one who had to go off and tell everyone! And then Cleon! What's with him? Did he really challenge me to a duel? Why would he do that?"

"Because," Seaver spoke up. "He's in love with Kel"

"What did you say?" Neal said, surprised.

"Its true," Owen spoke up softly. "He told us. Just before you walked in, before Merric told us…" he trailed off.

Neal put his head in his hands with an air of pure fatigue. "But," he said, "He's getting married! Where does he come off?"

"I still can't believe you did that" Merric said, venom in his voice.

"Why? Why was it such a bad thing! I have feelings for Kel! It's no Different than every other court lady you've been with Merric of Hollyrose, and do not deny it." Neal spoke in Kel's defense.

"Oh, please Neal. You must be joking. When she first came to the castle and we all became friends, we vowed we would treat her no different than we would anyone else here. You broke that vow. And you took advantage of her"  
"Took advantage of her! Do you hear yourself! Has anyone asked her what she wanted! Believe me, I would never do anything against Kel's wishes."

"It doesn't mater Neal! The fact of the matter is that you took our Kel."

"Merric?" asked Neal, "are you jealous?"

Merric took a step back in surprise, his face instantly flushing red.

"No! That's preposterous, why would you think-"

"You are, aren't you?" Neal accused "by all the gods, I can not believe you. You need to seriously think about what you've done. Not only to your friends, but to Kel." Neal walked out of the library and headed towards Kel's room.

Merric stood in the same spot for about five minutes before finally heading back to his own rooms, not saying a word to anyone with his eyes trained on the floor.

Everyone else was silent. Then Owen spoke again.

"Well, that was jolly fun."

Everyone rolled their eyes and walked out of the library leaving Owen alone, until he walked to his own rooms a minute later.  
-

* * *

Kel cried until she couldn't cry anymore. She made up for at least thirteen years of bottled up emotions. Her eyes hurt, and she could barely see her vision was so blurry. Why had he done that…maybe, maybe he didn't love her as he said he did. Ugh! She thought, 'I can't believe I allowed myself to like him like that.' I set myself up for heart break. She sat up furiously and wiped at her eyes. She stood and straightened her tunic, and fixed her mussed hair. She ha been acting foolishly, but now it was time to swallow her emotions yet again. She looked in the small mirror she had on the wall of her washroom to make sure she didn't look too bad. Then she heard a knock on her door.

"Wh-who is it?" she called out.

"It's me, Neal. Kel, open up."

She paused for a moment. Did she really want to see him right now? Could she handle seeing him right now? Well, she thought, shed have to face him sooner or later. She went to the door and opened it to see a worried looking Neal.

"I swear, everyone in this castle has gone mad!" he cried throwing his hands up in the air. He sat down in the chair next to Kel's bed. Kel sat down silently on her bed.

"They all feel like they own you! Well, they don't and I-"

"Neal," she cut him off. She was staring intently into his eyes. "I must know. Do you love me?"

He looked a little taken aback. "Why, yes, Kel, of course I do I-"

"Then why did you do that back there! I am not your property!" she shouted, now on her feet.

He hung his head in shame "Kel, I - I am truly sorry. I acted foolishly, I understand that. But I did it because, well, I was embarrassed"

"You were embarrassed of me?" she asked sternly, placing her hands on her hips

"No, uh, what I mean is…" he stopped and stepped forward, grabbing her arms and kissing her with felling this time. Softer and less commanding. "I love you. I'm serious."

She pulled away and smiled sheepishly. Then it was gone. "Neal," she asked. "What are you going to do about the Cleon ordeal?" she asked quietly.

He paused and then sighed, discontentedly. "I really don't know. I also don't know what has come over him lately. I have no choice, I have to duel him. I shall try and speak to him about it, but I really don't think he will change his position on the matter."

"Telling them did not go as I plan Neal," she sighed, leaning into his embrace. "Not at all."

"Me neither lady Kel, Me neither."

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Okay, so that's it. I finally got another chappie up! I'll update soon! Never fear!


	10. Chapter 10: Table conversation

Disclaimer- I don't own this story, but I met Tamora Pierce!!!! *squeal of joy*she was absolutely fantastic. Haha. But I did get a rather nice picture of her acting all ghetto like. It is HI-larious.

Okay guys, i cant believe i havent updated in such a long time. This chapter is to show you guys that no, I am not abandoning this story...yes this is a sad excuse for a chapter but its all i could rattle out what with me starting college and everything. anyways hopefully ill get a more substantial plot moving chapter up soon. Thanks for being there :)

Kel woke up feeling very stiff. Tossing and turning all night in her bed hadn't help. Although she knew it was probably foolish, she couldn't get the worry for Neal and Cleon out of her head. She sat up from bed and went to her window to admit the chirping sparrows that gathered outside on her sill. Grabbing the feed bag she kept in a drawer in her desk, she laid some of the feed onto the sill. Egregiously, she grabbed her practice staff and began her daily ritual of pattern dances. She decided to do something simple this morning and slack off, although she knew she should do more…and in the long run this wouldn't be good for her but she didn't frankly care. When she was finished she tossed her staff into the corner and began to head out the door, until she spied a piece of paper on the floor. It seemed as if it had been slid under her door. She picked it up and unfolded it. It read:

Kel-

We need to talk… soon.

-Seaver

She thought on it puzzledley. What would Seaver want to talk her about? She hadn't been really good friends with him throughout her years as a page. They had hung out in the same social group but they weren't what you could call particularly close. Then she thought. This must be about Merric. They were very close after all. They were like brothers. Kel held her head in her hands and sighed. Tucking the letter away in her waist pocket she opened the door and headed to breakfast.

Entering the great hall she gazed around the room. What she saw made her want to scream and throw things and at the same time make her cry. Her friends were split. Neal and Owen were at the usual table, merric and Seaver at another and Cleon sat be grudgingly stabbing at his food in a dark corner. She marched over to where Neal and Owen were and stood there crossed armed.

"What is going on here?" she demanded to know.

Neal looked up at her, a questioning look on his face "what do you mean?"

"You know very well what I mean Nealan of Queenscove and don't pretend like you don't" she fought to keep her voice at a reasonable level. Owen just sat there awkwardly chewing on his oatmeal. Kel sat down so as not to make a scene.

"kel I don't know what you mean. Unless you would be referring to our hot headed friends spread across the room. In which case, it was not my fault I swear. They did it of their own accord."

Kel sighed and laid her head back in her hands. This had to stop they were being ridiculous. Kel felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry Kel, they will undoubtedly cool off." Neal said comfortingly.

"Neal how can you be so sure."

"Pfff" Neal said cockily "its cleon, I'm sure he'll cool down…As for Merric…I've no idea what's going through his head."

Kel chewed the inside of her cheek thoughtfully. She really didn't know what to do. She did know that whatever the day held for her she wouldn't get very far without some food in her belly so she stood up and went to go and get some food from a server. Breakfast this morning was a bowl of boiled oats sweetened with a dark sugar that came from Carthak and an apple. She grabbed a cup full of juice and walked back down to the table. Setting her bowl down heavily her heaved into her seat and steadily began shoveling spoonfuls of oats into her mouth. Her thoughts were running amuck in her head. She had no idea what this day would bring. Eventually she just couldn't take it anymore. She slammed her spoon down on the table and stomped over to Cleon's table.

"What the hell do you think you're doing over here? I can't believe you would be so stupid so as to want to duel your friend. Cleon honestly, you're getting MARRIED!" she regained her composure and stood calmly before him, her face Yamani smooth and her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

Cleon did nothing but glance coolly at her. There was nothing but pure torment in his eyes. Their gaze seemed locked for what seemed like forever until he finally spoke.

"Keladry, I love you and nothing could make me more angry than the thought of someone undeserving touching your body-"

"Cleon, you do not love me. You love your fiancé! You are blind cleon, utterly blind."

"Hah" cleon snorted "you cal me blind and yet you are the one who can't see what's right under your face!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" kel was positively seething. She hadn't wished for it to come to this but she had no choice but to get angry with him.

"You can't see that I'm the one who you're meant to be with!" with that Cleon scooped up his belongings and stormed out of the dining hall. Kel slumped into the chair before her and sighed heavily. Resting her forehead in her hands she massaged her brow as she stared hard at the table. What she couldn't understand was what Cleon was doing. He was engaged!

"Ugh!" Kel lout a furious cry that was laced with frustration as she stood up. Without pausing to even give a hello to the rest of her friends she strode out of the dining hall and into the corridor.

"…goodbye then" Neal remarked as she walked by. Muttering something about no manners under his breath he went back to peeling his orange. Owen just started at Neal…wondering what was happening to his little world


	11. Chapter 11: sacrifice

The morning was crisp and clear and Kel's senses were high. Everything seemed to be enhanced. The metallic smell that assaulted her nostrils was overwhelming. It made her head spin. She lifted her hands and gasped. Blood. Glancing at her tunic she seemed to be soaked in it, but she felt no pain. She knew it wasn't hers. She began to run forward searching. Around her the scenery seemed to grow and swell, the blank planes beside her swirling, refusing to keep their shape. In front of her she could barley make out the shapes of her friends. Seaver was holding back Merric by the shoulders, barley holding back her screaming friend. His face was twisted with rage as he attempted to lung at the figures in front of him. Owen was huddled in a ball, weeping silently. The figures became more clear and she froze for a moment, realizing what they were. Cleon was sprawled on the ground, the color was completely drained from him. He was dead. Neal was kneeling over cleons lifeless body. Every terrible emotion seemed to be displayed on his face; fear, agony, loathing, sadness. Neal's bloodied sword lay in the grass next to Cleon's body. Her legs became heavy as she moved forward and ultimately refused to go any further. The group turned to look at her. Merric's expression turned from rage to accusation as he ripped himself from Seaver's grip.

" This is your fault! It's all your fault he's dead! If you weren't such a bloody fucking whore we'd all be better off. Why don't you just go home and leave us all alone." His face showed no sign of retribution.

Suddenly Kel felt the cool weight of a dagger in her hand. Grasping it her legs moved forward. Her mind screamed at her to stop but her body seemed to be possessed by something more powerful. Neal stood and moved towards her. They met, their faces a hairs breadth away from each others. Neal leaned in and whispered into her ear,

"It was all for you Keladry," he pulled her into a hug.

As she felt his arms loosen from her torso her arm raised itself and the knife was plunged into Neal's back. Together they fell to their knees. Kel began sobbing as Neal fell backwards, his eyes staring up at her. Even in death they were filled with love. Love for her. '_It was all for you Keladry' ._ Even his death was meant for her. Then she was alone. One by one her friends disappeared and she was left alone, surrounded by blood stains and nothingness.

Kel awoke.

Soaked in sweat Kel lunged forward. She wiped her eyes. She had been crying in her sleep. She shook her head. It was just a stupid, stupid dream. Shakily she swung her feet over the side of her bead and walked over to her window. She pulled the drapes aside, and saw that it wasn't yet dawn. Sighing she slumped down into her chair and took a moment to gather herself. She tried to think of a million possible reasons for her having such a dismal dream. This wasn't the first she had had. What did they mean? she began dressing for the day when there came a sudden rap on her door.

"Kel, quickly you have to open the door!"

The voice belonged to Owen. Buttoning her breaches Kel opened her door to a panicking face.

"what's wrong Owen?"

" Kel, Its Neal and Cleon they're about to duel and Cleon seems to be out for blood I don't know what's gotten into him I couldn't stop them I tried I-"

" Owen, slow down take me to them. Now."

Running through the corridors to castle Owen lead her outside. Sprinting across the castle grounds Owen took her into the forest to a small clearing. She spotted Neal and Cleon. The look on cleons face scared her. He seemed to be possessed… what was happening lately? They were poised to begin.

" Stop, stop it! What're you doing!"

Neal spun to look at her and shot an angry look at Owen. In that instant Cleon lunged in on Neal, smiling. He caught Neal's arm and Neal stumbled backwards, dropping his sword.

"Neal!" Kel screamed. She began to move forward. She didn't know what she was going to do. She hadn't thought to bring her own sword.

Neal scrambled to pick up his weapon as he dodged another of cleons blows. A large blood stain began to form at the slit in his shirt where Cleon had cut him. Readying himself they circled each other. Neal was not about to let Cleon win. Neal saw his opportunity to attack Cleon and took it. Parrying his attack Cleon began a counterattack and slashed at Neal's side. It barley missed Neal's torso. Kel panicked. If he had hit that wound may have been fatal, she had to put a stop to this.

" Cleon, Cleon listen to me please. Why are you doing this? Why?!" Kel pleaded with the red headed boy who used to be her friend.

" Why? Kel I want you and I will stop at nothing to get you. I love you Kel" the duel continued as the two boys were filled with more and more aggression towards the other. They didn't need to speak. Everything was said with their eyes.

" Cleon, I don't love you." Kel shouted at him. Her hands were in fists as tears streamed down her face.

" You don't mean that!" he shouted. " You'll see that you love me once were together. Then you'll understand that weren't meant for each other Kel."

" Cleon I love Neal!" She shouted this time, more defiantly.

" Lies!" Cleon spat. All of a sudden Neal lunged at him. His sword settled itself in cleons torso. Kel froze as Cleon stumbled backwards, his hands clenching his waist. Kel moved towards the two. Neal turned to look at her. His face was rife with regret. He didn't seem to even have words for what he had just done. Before she could even comprehend what had just happened Cleon yelled and grasped his sword. His eyes smoldered as he came at Neal.

"NO!" screamed Kel. She ran towards Neal , shoving him out of the way as Cleons sword pierced her side. Everything seemed to move in slow motion from there. She sunk to her knees. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't speak and she couldn't move. She could vaguely hear Neal screaming from all around her and Owens voice joined his. Her vision went from Brilliant green before fading to black as she sank into a dark world of unconsciousness.

Kel tried to fight her way out of the mix of black and blue inside of her. She was drowning in the black and she could feel it. Every time she felt she was slipping under a strand of green light would coax her toward he surface again. It seemed to be an endless struggle. All the while she felt nothing but pain inside her. She wouldn't cry out. She refused to. She knew she shouldn't and had a feeling she couldn't if she wanted to. Instead she clenched her jaw and took the pain in, making it a part of her. Through the pain she faintly heard sounds around her. Some accusing, others filled with worry. One voice was more precise than the others, shouting orders. The green was replaced with a feeling of warmth and a different color that she was too exhausted to make out. She just let the feeling overwhelm her. The worst was past as she sunk into sleep. Real sleep.


	12. Chapter 12: Unforseen Complications

Kel woke up between stiff sheets and a good amount of dulled pain. She didn't want to move. She was perfectly content to stare at the ceiling. This week clearly must've been one large jest by the gods. There was no other explanation for it. _Oh yes, watch the little mortals squirm! _ She couldn't get the thought of Cleons' face out of her mind. He honestly wanted to kill Neal. Neal, who had been his friend since before Kel had even arrived at the castle to train for her shield. Maybe this really was all her fault. She then remembered her dream and Merric's condemning words. Was she really a whore? She tried to curl up into a ball and roll over but the pain in her side was too much. Part of her just wanted to die. Sighing, she turned her head to look around. The room was empty except for a slumped over Neal, napping in a chair in the corner. His arm had been bandaged and he looked half dead. The circles under his eyes were unmistakable. She smiled at him half heartedly. She wondered how long she had been asleep and how long he had been sleeping in that chair. Struggling a bit she sat herself up and looked around. She was in one of the castles sick rooms. Looking out the window she noticed that it was well past nightfall. She had been asleep all day it seemed. Just then Duke Baird walked in. The Duke was the main healer in the castle, as well as Neal's father.

"I see you're awake then. How does your side feel?" He asked her.

" It's okay for the moment. A little dull pain but I'll be fine."

"Lay down. Let me inspect your wound to make sure you're healing properly."

Obeying his orders, Kel lay back down and lifted her shirt partially to reveal her bandaged side. As Duke Baird undressed her wound and prodded her in a matter of places, asking if that hurt and how much, she gazed worriedly at Neal. He needed some real rest. He looked more haggard than she felt. The duke must've noticed this and remarked.

"He hasn't left your side since he carried you in yesterday, he seemed almost half dead himself. Poor lad… he tried to heal you himself as he carried you."

Kel remembered the green light. She thought she had imagined it. It must've been Neal's magic as he tried to erase her wounds. Then she processed what the duke had just told her.

"I've been passed out for a whole two days?" Kel said, incredulously.

"Yes," the duke responded "Your wound was rather deep…I was afraid you weren't going to pull through at moments but Nealan would not give up. He knew you were stronger than that squire Keladry." Smiling the duke put the finishing touches on redressing her wounds. Placing his hand over the area a blue light began to glow. As it faded the pain in her side dulled.

"There, that should help with the pain. You really should rest now, morning will come sooner than you think." The duke walked out, closing the door, leaving her and Neal alone.

Keladry sighed deeply after a few minutes of simply staring into the distance. What was she going to do? This mess was far too out of hand. She heard Neal stir in his chair. His arms stretched over his head as his sleepy eyes slowly opened to see Kel, wide awake. He stood up and was at her bedside in seconds.

"Kel! You're awake! How are you? Are you in pain? Oh Kel" He scooped her partway out of bed into a very vigorous hug.

"Ow…" Kel moaned.

"Oh, oh gods, I'm sorry" He lowered her back into her bed and wiped his palms on his tunic nervously. He seemed uncomfortable. Kel laughed under her breath. Seeing her friend uncomfortable always made her smile.

"Does it hurt much?" Neal asked her as she struggled to prop herself on her elbows.

"It's not unbearable. Duke Baird just redressed my wound and gave me another healing so the pain isn't noticeable. I'm fine, really." This wasn't a lie for the pain did in fact feel better now. She would leave out the fact that moments ago it was nearly unbearable.

"Kel… I am so sorry. This is entirely my fault. I…I tried to talk some sense into him and it just didn't work." Neal put his face in his hands.

Kel gazed at her guilt ridden friend. She knew it wasn't his fault. It was hers. She was killing her friends slowly, causing all of this discord. She lay back in the bed and sighed. Everything was going to be different now… she knew deep down that her life wouldn't be able to go back to the way it was.

"Is Cleon… is he all right?" Kel asked

"He's alive, if that's what you mean. I haven't seen him but I think that's probably for the best." Neal sighed and rubbed his brow. "I just don't understand why everything has changed."

"I don't either… I just don't understand" Kel replied meekly. "This is exactly why the Yamani hide their emotions. They cause nothing but trouble. Things would never be as simple as she thought them to be before this whole business. She shook her head sadly.

"Kel… I was so afraid you weren't going to make it. I don't know what I would do without you. I really do love you Kel. Nothing has changed that." Neal leaned in and kissed Kel on the cheek.

Kel smiled and stared into her friends beautiful green eyes. She loved him too. At least she thought she did. She didn't understand her own emotions anymore. She began to feel queasy and layed back down. The room seemed to be spinning all of a sudden.

"Kel, are you ok? What's wrong?"

"I'm…spinning. No, the room, its spinning… I don't feel so well"

"Father!" Neal cried

Duke Baird came from the other room and stood over her bed.

"What's happened?"

"I don't know, she just began complaining of dizziness" Neal replied to his fathers question with a worried tone in his voice.

The duke, whose face was set in a grim line began to feel her forehead. Kel attempted to stay conscious as waves of dizziness washed over her.

"She's developing a fever. I'm afraid infection may have set in. Nealan, go down the hall and grab me some nurses. I'm afraid I'm too worn out to heal her on my own. Before you even say anything…no you may not help. Go to your room. Rest. That is an order."

Neal ran off to gather the nurses. Kel was only half conscious as the dukes hands began to glow. A soft light seeped through her now closed eyelids.

"Sleep now, lady Kel. Sleep and dream. We shall make you better."

With that, Kel let herself slip into sweet unconsciousness.


End file.
